When Less Is More: The Power of a Single Mantra

When I ask parents where their teens can improve, I’m often met with a long list: not enough confidence, not enough focus, poor time management skills, and more. We want our teens to improve in all these areas, ideally all at once.

However, when it comes to growth, less is more. Trying to address every weakness at the same time is seldom effective. Instead, priority and sequence matter. What I’ve found extremely useful is to look for the following:

1) the most fundamental issue beneath that cascade of challenges, and
2) the one message that can address that fundamental issue and shift a teen’s mindset and behavior.

I call it a single mantra.

My conviction in this idea came from personal experience. Years ago, I felt out of place while working at a hard-charging, risk-taking solar project development firm. Fortunately, my executive coach saw what I could not see at the time.

“Still water runs deep,” he wrote to me.

As I sat with those words, something clicked. Deep thinking was what I valued most, and it shaped my natural tendency to question, reflect, and move deliberately. My style was different from that of the executives around me, but different was far from deficient.

That single sentence helped me understand myself and affirmed the value of my approach. It filled me with confidence and clarity when I needed them. As I repeated it again and again in my heart, it became my mantra. Years later, it gave me the courage to launch my own private practice.

Now I look for that same kind of singular, powerful message for my students, and it delivers whether the goal is to affirm a hidden strength or correct an entrenched tendency.

For one meticulous and patient student who needed a confidence boost, I offered: “Dripping water carves through stone.” Adapted from a Chinese idiom, the phrase highlights the value of patience and persistence. Rather than urging her to become bolder or faster, I wanted her to recognize the value of her craftsman-like approach, and to trust that her sustained effort will lead to excellence.

For another creative and bright student who moves from one area of interest to another, failing to make meaningful accomplishments in any, the mantra was very different. “A drifting boat seldom reaches its destination,” I reminded her.

I asked her to anchor herself and to be mindful of the sway of her strong emotional energy. Once she committed to anchoring herself in specific activities and concrete deliverables, she was able to see more clearly where she was falling short. Once she addressed those gaps, she began to deliver, and the recognition she earned for her good work increased her confidence. That, in turn, put her on an exciting, upward trajectory.

We are surrounded by affirmations and motivational quotes, but growth is hard. If it were simple or easy, the teen would have already corrected themselves. The truth is that change in any single area requires sustained, directed energy, and the power of a single mantra lies in its focus on the area with the most leverage.

To enhance the mantra's effectiveness, I suggest using imagery. Analogy and metaphor can make an abstract idea a lot more tangible and evocative, and a vivid image can give a teen something to visualize and remember. 

Unfortunately, I don't believe there is one message that can serve as the “single mantra” for all teens, because every teen is unique. Therefore, the challenge for parents, teachers, and coaches is to understand the young person well enough to identify the message that matters the most.

Of course, a mantra alone cannot create change. It takes effect only through action and experience. But the right mantra, when taken to heart, can energize a teen towards the right direction and build the momentum for lasting improvement.

Often, progress in one fundamental area begins to unlock growth everywhere else.